


Party Planning is Very Serious Business

by erunamiryene



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2748278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erunamiryene/pseuds/erunamiryene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josephine has been working really hard on the Satinalia planning, but some of her friends take their holiday pranks a little too far, and Josephine has had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Party Planning is Very Serious Business

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fun little ficlet, cause if Josie's gonna lose her temper, this is an epic rant to do it with. Thank you, "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". xD I did have to rearrange a few lines to make them work.

Josephine had been working on the Satinalia plans for the last few weeks, only to deal with pranks from Sera. And a few from Dorian. And of course Iron Bull got in on the fun. There were even two little ones from Blackwall. She’d _expected_ that the Inquisitor would keep them in line, but no: even _Evelyn_ had gotten involved today with her stupid bucket of water on the doorway, and Josephine had finally had it.

The entire inner circle was gathered in Josephine’s office, most of them looking down shamefacedly. The only person missing was Evelyn, because Josephine had gotten going before anyone had had a chance to go get her. She had been yelling at them for some time now. Josephine took a breath and looked down at her hands, then scanned the crowd.

“If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Evelyn Trevelyan, our Herald, right here tonight. I want her brought from her happy magical slumber up there in her pretty tower and I want her brought right here, with a big ribbon on her head!”

Dorian nudged Cullen. “Sounds like you have competition,” he grinned. Cullen smothered a laugh.

“And I want to look her straight in the eye and I want to tell her what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, bronto-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, mabari-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of nug shit she is!”

The room was utterly silent for a moment. 

“You’re loopy, Ruffles.”

“Don’t anger me further, Varric.”

“Aww, come on, Josie - “

“Stay out of this, Leliana.”

Cassandra stepped in. “I think maybe it’s for the best if we just call it a night, before things get worse,” she said gently.

Josephine held up a sodden pile of parchment - all the Satinalia plans, the victim of Evelyn’s prank. “Worse? How could it get any worse? Look around you, Cassandra, we’re on the threshold of the Void!”

People had already started making their way for the door; Josephine ran and stood in front of it. “Oh no! Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving! Nobody’s walking out on planning this fun old-fashioned Inquisition Satinalia! No, _no_. We are all in this together! This is a full-blown four-alarm holiday emergency here! We’re going to press on, and we’re going to have the happiest Feastday since King Calanhad danced the Remigold with Queen Mairyn!” She sat at her desk, picked up her pen, and looked around. “So, _we_ have a holiday celebration to plan, yes?” she said cheerfully. “Let’s have some ideas!”


End file.
